How To Deal With Haters & Critics
In this post, I thought it was important to delve deeper into how to handle discouragement, doubters, and unsupportive people in your entrepreneurship journey.
"It makes me that much stronger, Makes me work a little bit harder, It makes me that much wiser, So thanks for making me a fighter."-Christina Aguilera, Fighter
Those are the lyrics from Fighter, one of my favourite songs by Christina Aguilera. For me, the song represents how haters and critics make you stronger, wiser and work harder, pushing you to become more of a fighter.
In the last blog post, we touched on how in your first year of entrepreneurship, it is likely you won't get support from your friends and family. In this post I thought it was important to delve deeper on how to handle discouragement, doubters and unsupportive people in your entrepreneurship journey.
After years of studying the most successful people in the world, I have found a very interesting correlation. I have discovered that the more successful you become in life, the haters and critics you have will increase. As you start to level up in life, becoming a more confident BossGirl, you will start to notice that you have obstacles and roadblocks in your journey to success. One of the many hurdles you will face as an entrepreneur is criticism and hate from others who don't have the same vision as you.
I find it helpful to remember H.A.T.E.R.S as standing for Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success.
Most of the time, if people are hating on you, and putting down your dreams, they are doing this not because they hate you, but because they hate themselves. By chasing your dreams and being ambitious, you are making your haters feel insecure because you are a reflection of what they wish to be. The only way to make their insecurities go away and make themselves feel powerful is to hate and put you down.
I remember when I started out in my entrepreneurship journey, my mother was very discouraging towards me. She told me I would 'never be successful' and that I was 'crazy' for ever thinking that I could 'amount to anything extraordinary in my life'. I even remember when I would have business meetings at my home, my mother would storm in the room and started screaming at the top of her lungs 'she's a liar don't do business with her, she's so stupid, don't trust her'. When I first launched my beauty business I asked my mother to share my website on Whatsapp to her friends, my mother replied she would "never ever share any of my stupid business that will never succeed".
This deeply saddened me because my mother was meant to be supportive of me and encouraging, however she did the exact opposite. She embarrassed me, said hurtful things and put my business down many times. Through all this pain and hurt, I found out one surprising fact about my mother. My older sister mentioned to me that when I was younger, my mother was involved in a network marketing company that sells beauty products, my mother's job was to sell the beauty products and when she did she would get a commission. I'm guessing that this business venture did not work out for her, and as a result she took her frustration out on me.
When someone is hating on you, try to empathise with why they're spreading negativity. Often times it is due to their own insecurities, traumas, fears, challenges, ignorance, life experience, social circumstances, upbringing and desire for connection. Let's be honest, we can all find ourselves occasionally thinking negative thoughts about others or ourselves. Learn from your haters negative attitude and make sure you don't ever act like a hater. Fighting hate with hate will only ever spread more negativity, in your life, in the community around you, in the life of your haters and in your business. You must always try to find the strength and courage to fight hate with love.
Even though at the time hate can be very discouraging, I am so thankful for all the hate that I have had over the years, because it pushed me to work harder, and it gave me the motivation to become the BossGirl I was always meant to be. So this is why it is so important BossGirl that you shift your mindset on hate. When somebody tries to hate on you, instead of firing back you should handle it with integrity, don't waste your precious energy by trying to prove your point. The main goal of your haters is to consume your energy and get a reaction from you. Don't give your haters the satisfaction by giving them the reaction they want. Instead put that energy into working hard for your dreams and goals.
"The best revenge is massive success."-Frank Sinatra.
This is one of my favourite quotes about hate. There's no better feeling than proving somebody wrong by becoming successful.
Now BossGirl I'm not saying that everyone who gives you criticism or anyone who says that your idea may not be the best, is automatically not worth listening to. What I am saying is you need to be careful who you accept advice from. If somebody just says your idea is stupid, with no constructive criticism on why it's bad or how you can improve then they are just simply hating. However if somebody genuinely tells you why an idea may not work with a reason why or offers a solution of what you could do instead, then they're giving you constructive criticism which may be worth listening to.
You need to listen to people who have your best interests at heart, these are the people who want you to succeed. Instead of being defensive you should approach what they're saying with an open mind. Make sure the advice you're listening to is helpful and adds value to your perspective as an entrepreneur.
Remember BossGirl, almost anybody successful has haters, attracting some is just another step on your journey to success, even if their behaviour can be extremely hurtful sometimes. There may be times when you get hate, discouragement, and your confidence takes a hit, but you need to know that people can never take your true dreams, ambition, passion and vision - hang onto this, even at the most challenging times in your career.
Thank you for reading this post and supporting BossGirlsNow. It really means a lot to us. If you need any support, have questions about entrepreneurship or simply just want to say hello you can always email us on firstname.lastname@example.org. Feel free to share this article to anyone who would benefit from reading this at this time in their journey.
I hope you have an amazing and productive day.
Go on girl, do your thing and be the boss. Xx
"It makes me that much stronger, Makes me work a little bit harder, It makes me that much wiser, So thanks for making me a fighter." - Christina Aguilera Fighter